edit: lol at trolls icu
Through all of my previous years as a gamer, I initially avoided mass multiplayer online (MMO) games. Considering that I used games to get away from people, playing with them seemed counterproductive. But over the past couple of years I’ve started expanding myself into the digital culture of MMOs, playing with people and getting to know them.
And now I’m starting to see why I avoided it in the first place.
Some people can be really cool and awesome, playing the games for the experience and interacting with people just to get to know them and make connections. I like these people, these people make me happy. But the further you get into a particular game, the more elitists you find, pushing their ideals of how people should perform and criticizing or even attacking other players for not conforming to their standards. This can be especially problematic in roleplaying games such as World of Warcraft (WoW), where you can create a large variety of alternate characters (generally known as alts). The higher level your character is, the closer it reaches to “end game”, where your character level is maxed and you start working toward more powerful gear, achievements and other accomplishments. There’s a high focus on dungeons (especially those of heroic difficulty), large-group raids, and player vs. player (PvP), be it in large or small groups (Battlegrounds and Arena, respectfully). If you make it to the max level and wish to participate in any of these end game activities, you are expected to perform.
What’s the problem with this? It assumes and makes judgment of people based on a preconceived idea of what they are capable of. It ignores the scope of a particular gamer’s abilities, their strengths and their limits.
The sheer number of addons available for WoW help, but these aren’t available for all games. And in some cases, they’re not condoned by the company that makes the game or the server you play on, and it can even be considered against their terms of service to use them – regardless of your reason. I ran into that problem with a server I played on for Ragnarok Online, where their rules stated that players couldn’t use third party software if it could or was being used to gain an unfair advantage. At the time I was using a program called Hotkey Master, which enabled me to paste commands into the chat panel and hit enter with a single push of a button, instead of having to type it out myself and lessen my overall game time because of the impact on my hands. While this could be seen as an unfair advantage, this very feature was available within the game – but it required you to press two keys on opposing sides of the keyboard simultaneously, which my hands couldn’t reach without strain or if I had my braces on. Especially since one hand had to be on the mouse at all times to move your character or target skills or enemies.
The response I got from the moderators was favorable, but the players not so much. Their attitudes demonstrated and reinforced the frame of thought that if you are not capable of playing the game the same way that they are, you are less valuable as a player. You do not count. Or worse – you’re asking for special favors, asking to get around breaking the rules, or to cheat. Just because you cannot play in the same fashion that they can, or you can’t keep up with them without assistance.
I’ve since moved on from this game but the attitudes are still prevalent in others. According to them, if you use the keyboard to play instead of the mouse, you’re not a real gamer (since clearly the keyboard is inferior to the flexibility of the mouse’s features in-game). Or you don’t know how to play your class or character right. Or if you don’t or can’t use certain features or addons that many consider to be essential to playing their class, you’re not playing your class right. If you’re not maxing out your damage-per-second (DPS) on a dungeon or raid boss, regardless of reason, you’re not playing your class right. You’re a less valuable player. If you cannot top the meters, be they for damage, healing or enemy player kills, you are a less valuable player.
I wish it was just strangers that do this. But I’ve gotten it from my own guild mates too. If I cannot remember or focus on the functionality of my class at a given moment, I am an amateur. But sometimes my attention cannot stay on one part of my screen, to watch my skills and focus on my role in the party. Sometimes I hyperfocus and forget to pay attention to the enemies that are appearing or being summoned, when I’m supposed to be switching my attention to them. Sometimes my hands start to tense and lock up and I’m not able to hit my hotkeys as fast as I usually do or respond as quickly to immediate situations. Sometimes my blood sugar crashes and I have to leave the party early. Sometimes I can’t log into Ventrilo or another voice communication program because I’m dealing with high levels of anxiety or sensory overload. Sometimes I hit a fatigue spike or pain crops up and I have to take a break.
All of these limits, in the eyes of elitists, can make me a less valuable player. And frequently do. All because I function differently than they do, and thus have to adjust how I play to accommodate.
And because of this, it affects how comfortable I am playing with other people in these games. It affects what features of the games I use, where I go both within and outside of them, how I communicate with other players. It makes the very activity that I use to retreat and distract myself from the harshness of reality and society around me just as harmful as the social interaction I’m trying to withdraw from, should the situation arise while I’m around.
There are still some really great people in these games, and I love meeting and getting to know them. I love playing with them. They make playing the games worth while despite the hardships that they in turn produce. But even in digital communities like this, I’m still a recluse in the end.
All because I’m disabled, and thus a less valuable player.
End game WoW is an intense undertaking. It can be a similar to a true competitive game/e-sport like any other if you take the PvP route. It is hard, intentionally so, and raiding is a team activity, where people are expected to take on specific roles and fulfill them to the mathematical limit of their character build, in order to win. Roles are important to allow a large number of people to be organized sufficiently to win. Someone who can’t fulfill their role efficiently should be replaced by someone who can, if winning truly is the desired outcome.
Playing to win is not for everyone, and I mean that in the general sense. It takes discipline and intense focus, to practice constantly and to always strive to become better. To rise beyond the obstacles that hold you back in a given activity, and defeat them. Whatever they are; physical, mental, anything. This is hard for everyone. Most people are not cut out for it, and that’s alright. There are many things we are all not capable of given our built in capabilities, whether that be college, Olympic gold, or whatever. Most things in life that are truly worth it require a lot of effort.
There is a pro-level Halo player who is paralyzed, and plays by mashing the controller with his face. He’s found away around his disability to succeed and reach high levels of competition in his game of choice.
You can too. If you try. That guy plays Halo with his face more effectively than most normal people will ever play with their hands.
Or you can just give up and wail about it on the internet. Rather than going and trying to solve the problem itself.
I’m plenty aware of how intense end-game WoW is. What I would like to see more of are players that play for the sake of enjoying the game. If we wipe on Onyxia or Ulduar, so be it. Don’t get angry, try to find the flaws in our execution and work around it. Laugh it off and keep going. Or alternatively we find something else to do and try again on a different night. A large part of dungeons and raids is working as a team – which includes understanding your team mates and their capabilities. Staying steadfast in one’s pre-determined expectations of how things should go doesn’t accomplish that, especially if that turns into judgment and ire directed at them. Then you won’t get a win, you’ll get anxious party members that’ll have poor execution or worse, they’ll leave. And they’ll find other people to play with.
Fortunately though, I don’t like PUGing. I’d much rather play with my friends, who are much more laid back and know how to handle a situation that takes a turn for the worse. And I can play tag with the tank too.
“people are expected to take on specific roles and fulfill them to the mathematical limit of their character build, in order to win.”
“Someone who can’t fulfill their role efficiently should be replaced by someone who can, if winning truly is the desired outcome.”
You, my dear, have not grasped the basic concepts of role-playing. WoW is marketed as an RPG. A Role-playing game. RPGs are not about winning. They never were. Ever. Role-playing is about playing a role, and having fun as you do it. You are placing as criterion that winning IS the desired outcome. It may be for some WoW-players, but not for all. But the demand on ALL WoW players, no matter their individual desired outcomes is to be able to max out and deliver results to satisfy desired outcomes of other players. This is the problem.
The problem is that a lot of players in WoW are not very tolerant towards players who are not power-maxers like themselves.
“Playing to win is not for everyone, and I mean that in the general sense.”
Absolutely. And yet a lot of players in WoW expect that playing to win is what everybody does, ad if they don’t they’re all sorts of nasty words. You’re actually suffering from that assumption yourself, basically telling SN that if zie’s not playing to win, then the game is not for hir, even though role-playing is officially a purpose of the game’s producers.
“It takes discipline and intense focus,”
So does role-playing. Something the power-maxers are typically not very good at. I’m a role-player. I friggin teach role-playing, and do NOT want to hear what awesome amounts of damage your hunter dealt the other day, because that is not role-playing.
“to practice constantly and to always strive to become better.”
Goes for role-playing, too. In fact, this goes for role-playing in far greater measure than most power-maxers realise. Role-playing is actually quite hard.
“To rise beyond the obstacles that hold you back in a given activity, and defeat them.”
You, my dear, are an ignorant asshat. You just told a person with a disability to rise abve and beyond their disability. Fuck you. This is what we’re all expected to do every single fucking day. We’re supposed to be the supercrips. We’re supposed to be the child prodigies. Well, guess what, some of us are just ordinary humans with a disability and a geeky gamer-streak. An we’d like to just play our games and have fun, without asshats like you expecting us to be just like yourself, if only we’d try a little harder. We try harder every day just to function in a society that is not made to include us. We try harder every day than most of you abled people do all your lives. Don’t fuckin’ tell us to rise above and beyond, because we already do this just be staying alive.
“Whatever they are; physical, mental, anything. This is hard for everyone.”
Oh wah wah wah. Your poor abled self has it so hard. Cry me a river. We’re talking about disabilities here. Not a hard math test. Not a little nervousness before an exam. Not a little cramping from having played 12 hours straight. We’re talking disabilities like not being able to process everything at the speed others do. Not just what goes on on screen but also what goes on in the room in which we sit. We’re talking about anxiety attacks that might stun you or leave you crying. We’re talking cramping because you had the audacity to get out of bed that morning.
This isn’t hard for everyone.
For you abled people it is an acquired skill that some have more talent at than others. For some of us with disabilities it can be a fun entertainment in a life otherwise filled with obnoxiousness and hurdles put in place for us by your kind. But for us it is yet another place where we are expect to be normal, even in a game that is open to everyone. There are no admission exams, so don’t fucking demand that everybody devote 12 hours a day to hone their skills or get out. It’s a game. It’s for fun.
Why are you so insistent that those who are spoiling the fun for others are right in demanding they skip having fun?
“Most people are not cut out for it, and that’s alright.”
Cut out for what? Using a keyboard and a mouse? I can do that. Interact with people? Uhm…. not so much. What you’re essentially saying is that if we’re not geniuses or at least have no desire to become geniuses at it we should just drop it. Mmmkay. I guess that means I should just never leave the house, since I’m not a genius at human interaction. I guess I should never ever buy food, ’cause I’m shit at planning a menu. Thanks. Why don’t I just off myself while I’m at it, since being shit at life is a good reason to drop it altogether.
Your argument rings hollow, and is unapplicable in all situations, except for you own privileged one.
“There are many things we are all not capable of given our built in capabilities, whether that be college, Olympic gold, or whatever.”
Being capable of going to college and/or winning Olympic gold are hardly requirements of doing well for yourself. Neither is being a genius power-maxer in WoW. Why must we all super-achieve or be nothing?
Is it not okay to just have fun playing football even though you’ll never win the World Cup? Why is it not okay to play WoW if you’re never going to raid with the best of them?
“Most things in life that are truly worth it require a lot of effort.”
Spoken like a true ableist. Most things in life that are worth it… what are these? What is worth? What is effort? What’s worth it for you may not be worth it for others. It’d never risk life and limb to climb Everest. That sort of thing means jack shit to me, but I can sure tell they require a lot of effort.
What is truly worth it, to me, is having relations with my very few friends. I cannot expend the effort to have a lot, so the effort I expend on the few are absolutely worth it. Remembering to eat requires a huge effort for me, but I posit that it’s worth it.
Is it then to much to demand that I and others with disabilities are left in peace to trundle around in an online game having a little fun to relax in a way that doesn’t cost us any effort? If we’re not raiding with the best, why should we be able to? Why is it okay to demand this of us, and why do you think it’s okay to talk down to us and demand supercrip-ness of us, when we complain that people are demanding results from us that we are not actually interested in achieving?
Like I said: You’re being a real asshat in that comment.
Oh yeah, and way to go with a supercrip example. We’re not interested in becoming pro-players in a competitive shoot-em-up game. We’re just interested in having a little fun in our sparetime in an RPG. There’s a friggin difference.
“Or you can just give up and wail about it on the internet. Rather than going and trying to solve the problem itself.”
You came here. You are the problem. We’re trying to solve it. The thing is. I, as a disabled person, cannot make people think differently. I cannot mind-control anyone. Telling us to solve the problem of other people being asshats towards us is like telling women to just stop getting themselves raped, rather than actually telling the rapists to stop raping. You’re victim-blaming. It ain’t pretty.
You’re telling us, who are already expending more energy than you just on existing, to use more of our energy to make you and your kind behave differently. The only one who can change your behaviour is you. And just like so many others, listening to people with disabilities who are speaking their truth is clearly not an option. What makes you think anyone else will?
If you acknowledge that there is a problem, then the decent human thing to do would be to spread the word and tell your gaming friends to stop their behaviour, when they behave like shitheads. Are you willing to do this? If not, then you’re part of the problem, and don’t tell us to fix you. That’s your job.
@ Static nonsense
I loved your post. I’m sorry for this lengthy comment. G3idslo set me off something fierce. Sorry about the swearing too.
I understand, though there are a few things that I’d like to point out.
First of all, we cannot know that g3idslo is abled, either physically or mentally, based on their perspectives or opinions expressed here. Unfortunately people with disabilities can and do sometimes hold ableist opinions or viewpoints. Internalized ableism is still very much a problem, largely because of the amount it’s pushed on us from the rest of society.
Second, amusingly enough, I’m a power gamer :) I’m delving into RP as well, but I do put a lot of work and energy into gaming, especially MMORPGs, and take a lot of pride in it. However, I also wish to take part in other aspects of the game. And as you addressed, I’m not a “supercrip” like so many want us to be to succeed at these games. We all have our limits, even if people make us out to be supercrips. I just want those limits to be respected.
I do get that as a power gamer and getting myself involved in end-game WoW, dungeon, heroic and raid runs I’m treading into dangerous territory. But I also know that we’re human, and as such all I wanted is to be treated with decency, respect and understanding. The skills are there, but they won’t do any good if the person attached to them isn’t respected.
Sorry, yeah, we can’t know zie’s abled. I shouldn’t have assumed. I should have settled for calling hir ableist, which was all one could surmise. That’s bad enough, mind-you.
I’m not saying power-gaming is bad. I know perfectly well that it takes skill and time and devotion and whatever else may be needed. I’m not one, but I can tell how much time and effort goes into it.
I’m arguing the point that power-gaming isn’t the be-all and end-all of an online gaming experience. Power-gaming shouldn’t be assumed to be the default for everyone, and maxing one’s character should not be the criterion for ‘success’. If that is your personal criterion for the success of one specific characters, or for your ventures in one specific game, or heck in every single game you play? That’s your choice, and that’s fine. (general ‘you’ btw) But assuming that your priorities must necessarily be everybody else’s priorities and if they’re not, then those others must be wrong, that is seriously fucked up.
I mean, shit, I get the same rush myself when leveling a character up. I go w00t and start planning how to best use skill points, karma points, proficiency slots, or whatever it’s called in the game at hand. I love leveling. I love the progress, the sense of victory of seeing my character improve. It’s awesome :P But at the same time the rush lasts so briefly for me. The rushes that last are the ones in which I had spent hours and hours on cultivating relationships with NPCs, so that when my crew (other PCs) backstabbed me, even tried to kill me, I had earned enough loyalty among people that the orders they gave NPC’s to kill me, even money they paid for my death, were in vain, ’cause I had the loyalty. Some of them even owed me their lives.
And no amount of levelling could have gotten me that. Of course, no amount of role-playing (or character maxing) could have shielded me from one of the other players calling me a little whore for having the audacity to out-maneuvre him in a game of cloak and daggers.
There are two general reasons I don’t do MMOs. It is sexism and disableism. I’m a woman and I’m autistic. I could play MMOs, but there would be an expectation of behaviours of me as a gamer, but especially as a female gamer, that I cannot expend spoons on. Tried. Failed. Am better off without.
I find it very problematic that you yourself is considering WoW end-game dangerous territory, and speaking of your awareness of this as you are. Why? You sound like you are in effect victim-blaming yourself. You are seemingly buying into the idea that when people are asshats it’s YOUR job to not expose yourself to them, and your own fault if you do it anyway.
If we can fairly presume WoW end-game dangerous territory, then we must also consider all gaming, role-playing, geek-conventions of any kind, engineering studies etc dangerous territory, and if we know that they are, we can also be blamed for going there knowingly.
I will posit that it is not fair to expect these places to be unsafe. It would be fair to expect them to be safe – especially if their makers have declared it a place for diversity of play styles (eg. why does WoW have RP elements? Probably not to enhance hack-n-slash style play). We know they are not safe, yes, but we should expect more. Melissa McEwan wrote a post about that on Shakesville many moons ago. Yes, a majority of men are sexist, what do we expect? In her words: I expect more. I expect to be treated like a human being.
I know -isms exist, but I expect that people will try to change that, because they hurt other people. My problem is not the existence of the -isms (well, that too), it is when people defend the isms and tell me that it is my fault for going out at night, for having breasts, for existing while female, for being blonde, for being crazy, for having sensory overload, for not having money enough, for not owning the right brands.
It is not these things that make my existence a hassle at times. It is the existence of people who will insist that I should expect it and therefore also accept that that’s the way things are.
Things shouldn’t be like that. I expect more of people. Mostly I expect humans to be humane and have some basic empathy and decency. Some prove me wrong, but I will continue to expect it of them, because the day I stop expecting of humans that they are humane, that’s the day I lose my hope in humanity and my will to live.
Oh I know you didn’t say power-gaming was bad, I was just pointing out that I do both ^^ Even though it’s not terribly clear in my post. It was also a bit of a generalized statement, since g3idslo’s comment read to me as if they were assuming I was a casual player based on my issue with the attitudes of the gaming community, which wasn’t the case. The attitudes are there regardless of whether or not you participate in end-game activities, and that’s one of the things that really bothers me. This sort of attitude effects everyone.
As for acknowledging it as dangerous territory, I acknowledge it because I also seek to fight it. Do I get blamed for doing it, saying that I brought it upon myself? Yes. But if I do not, change will not happen, because it comes from the inside out. It comes from the people within a given culture, who then influence the people around them. If I do not step into this dangerous territory, change will never come. And it will stay that way for years upon years.
Have to cut this short because of work – but the rest I pretty much agree with. Hopefully this comment clarifies things a tad in the other areas :D
Oh I got what you meant before :-)
“g3idslo’s comment read to me as if they were assuming I was a casual player based on my issue with the attitudes of the gaming community”
Exactly. Zie made a bunch of woefully faulty assumptions. There’s one assumptions that happens not only in gaming communities, but also in fan-communities for books, films, celebs etc, namely that if you have criticisms of any kind, then you cannot possibly be a fan or hard-core player/user.
I usually only do single-player games for reasons I stated above. I adore the Elder Scrolls games to bits, but ohhh boy are there criticisms. Especially of Oblivion’s (TESIV) handling of race. That’s a hornet’s nest. But I still love them. So much so, even, that when my RP students requested a TES table-top game I gladly sat down and adapted the pc game’s mechanics for use in a table-top game. Boy, did I acquire fans for doing that hehe.
Your point about the attitudes is precisely what I was trying to get at in my comment to idslo (why the heck not have a username that’s pronouncable? ARGH! sorry…). But these attitudes spring from the assumption that if you are where you are, then your purpose must be the one purpose the asshats have deemed acceptable, and thus if you have issues with how it goes down, then you’re the one with the problem.
It’s sort of like getting on a bus that stops at 22 stops, and you have chosen to get off at #9 today. However, everyone else on the bus need to get off at #14, and thus they decide amongst themselves that #14 is the only right stop and therefore you’re doing it wrong. Nevermind that you’re not going to the theatre like them, but to the grocery store.
The attitudes are there regardless of end-game participation because it is assumed that you must be there to achieve end-game participation, because according to the asshats, end-game participation is all there is to it. It’s really damn logical when you think about it. It’s a whole boatload of projected intentions.
I see I did not word the “dangrous territory” part very well. I have not yet figured out how to explain my view well enough, I’m afraid. But I’ll give it another shot. Perhaps I might end up having worded enough thoughts to make a post of it instead lol
It happens.
Yes, change often comes from the inside. Except when it doesn’t. I have long ago given up on making fan communities change at all. I have started discussions about fantasy books with people I thought I knew to be sensible and to consider arguments carefully. But I was the one being bitchy for not liking the depiction of the rape of a 13-year old girl in an otherwise mostly decent novel. Specifically fan communities cannot be changed by the marginalised groups wanting to change them, I believe. There is far too much staunch and steadfast support for the chosen idol.
The most I believe we can hope to do is get people who are of the non-marginalised groups to try to change the communities from the inside, because -ists have a tendency to only listen to their own, ie. men would more likely listen to other men, white people to white people etc etc.
That’s how I usually go about it. I’ve found there’s little point in fighting against the whole – it’s too tiring and nothing gets done. But talking to people one on one sometimes helps. Other times it fails catastrophically (like my former friend and the whole pumpkin pie conversation), but sometimes you can get through to someone. And when that happens they can get through to others.
Every little bit helps. It’s why I can still manage to play these games, though it’s hard sometimes.
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