I [1] have Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).
Before you start thinking about all that you know about the disorder or its American historical counterpart Multiple Personality Disorder, probably influenced by media portrayals such as that train wreak of a movie Sybil – stop. Now. These portrayals are so wrong and full of tropes it’s not even funny.
It’s not just Sybil that does it, either. There’s a bunch of modern shows, movies, games and other various forms of media that run into this problem. Even those that are supposedly “all about DID” such as United States of Tara, which is really just another comedy/drama series despite it being “supported” by a licensed psychiatrist. I have a very particular bone to pick with that show though, and will probably cover it later in more detail.
For now, let’s just go through a list of these tropes and just why exactly they piss me off.
- Dissociative Identity Disorder vs. Multiple Personality Disorder
- Overinflated, walking stereotypes
- The sociopathic, amoral or otherwise violent alter
- The focus on “roles”
- All multiplicity is a result of mental disorders
- There is only one form of multiplicity
- MPD or DID is a “terrible affliction”
One of the most common misconceptions I’ve come across is that Dissociative Identity Disorder is the modern-day evolution of Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD) and that the diagnosis of MPD no longer exists. The problem here is that this runs under the assumption that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is the end-all be-all of diagnostic manuals. Other diagnostic manuals exist, and their history and criteria differ among them. In the International Classification of Diseases Version 10 (ICD-10), the diagnosis of MPD still exists.
However, this is not an excuse to ignore the history of such established diagnoses in the area of origin or plot setting for a given form of media. Perfect example? Niki Sanders of the TV show Heroes, who was diagnosed with MPD. Problem with this being, she was diagnosed in the United States, after the diagnosis had already been changed to DID via the DSM IV-TR.
Basically where the alters [2] are highly exaggerated in their mannerisms, including but not limited to behaviors, appearances, emotional responses and thought patterns. This is like assuming that everyone in the world is a walking stereotype, despite the vast amount of diversity from person to person. This diversity applies to alters within a DID system as well as people within other forms of plural systems. Like singlets, people within a system can be extreme or subtle in their mannerisms. Insisting, assuming or believing otherwise erases their personal identity.
United States of Tara is full of examples of this. Buck is the stereotypical angry hick war veteran, complete with drinking beer, wearing flannel plaid shirts, smoking and a love for guns (supposedly the actress has been trying to not make him a stereotype – I don’t exactly see how this has been pulled off). Alice is the prim and proper 50s housewife with perfect hair, fabulous baking skills and highly feminine clothing. T is the flirtatious, loud, “out of control” teenager with revealing clothing and a disdain for people telling her what to do.
There’s an annoying assumption that there’s one of these in every system. It’s also used a lot in writing to portray the system as crazy, dangerous or a villain. Some portrayals even revolve entirely around them, like in the movie Session 9 with Simon, the evil alter of the former asylum patient Mary. Others, like Jessica in Heroes, are just used to further emphasize the “crazy” of the system or host. Which just makes us all look like people to fear, that eventually one of these dangerous alters will come out and try to hurt you or otherwise ruin your life. This is an extension of the assumption that being mentally ill makes you more likely to be violent, which isn’t true.
The assumption that everyone within a plural system, especially ones resulting from DID, has a “role” to fulfill in order to keep the system functional in society is a result of hyperfocusing on the clinical model and understanding of DID. Basically that each alter was created by the host to perform a task or deal with a situation that they themselves couldn’t handle, thus giving the responsibility to someone else. The problem with this is that it strips people of their personal identities. This is especially true for systems that aren’t from DID, because it erases their experiences in favor of a clinical model that doesn’t even apply to them. Furthermore, it strips us of our depth and diversity and reduces us to flat fabrications. Essentially, masks to be put on and then taken off when we’re no longer “needed”. This would be outrageous for anyone else – so why is it acceptable for us?
Some of the more common roles that are used are protectors and keepers. In United States of Tara, Buck is portrayed as the protector, the rough and tough sort of guy that’ll pummel anyone that causes problems for Tara or her family. Even to the point of getting into a fist fight with her daughter’s boyfriend. Alice asserts herself as the keeper of the system, keeping all of the other alters in check and providing guidance. Though perhaps this role will be better suited for Shoshana in season two, though I don’t particularly plan to find out. In Sybil, the keeper role falls on Vicki. And in Heroes, Jessica is pushed into the role of protector, though her methods portray her as a Very Bad Person, even if her intentions are good.
Here’s the thing about mental disorders. They’re considered disorders because they negatively impact the person’s ability to function. If a system isn’t negatively impacted in functionality in society, how exactly do they have a mental disorder? Because their way of operating is different from yours? Sharing a given body with multiple individuals is not what makes a disorder, there are many systems that can function just fine and do not consider themselves to be mentally ill.
Fuck no! There is just as much variation in multiplicity as there is in any other concept. A lot of the times when a system comes out as plural, people will assume they mean DID or MPD. And if they come out with having DID or MPD, people assume a particular model that they’re familiar with. There is no one form. There isn’t even an outline of multiple forms. Every system is different, and no portrayal of multiplicity will be able to represent all of them.
This one I can answer with a single, very common response among DID systems:
We do not suffer from DID. We survive because of DID.
The thing about DID is that it is developed through a survival tactic. The host retreats from a situation to preserve their mental health, and someone else comes out to handle the situation while they are gone. This enables us to get things done should one of us not be doing well, or if they are triggered by something. If one cannot handle taking showers, another can do it for them. If one cannot handle interacting with a particular person because of past trauma, another can do it for them. This is not an affliction – this is a tool, a coping method, used by many to survive. Some cope by avoiding triggers, adjusting behaviors or perceptions. We cope by switching and passing the ball to someone better equipped to handle the situation.
And these are just some of the ones I can remember off the top of my head right now!
Now. The problem with media portrayals of DID? They don’t take these things into consideration. They focus on what will sell, what will make their plot or character more interesting, edgy or unique. They do not care about accuracy, or who is affected by the lack of it. They do not care about the cycle of shit that they contribute to every time they further enforce one, many or all of these tropes. All they care about is their plot device. And because of it, we get hurt.
I am not your plot device. I am not your idea to further develop your “character”, or your character’s “affliction” or “struggle”. Using me as your way to advance your story line doesn’t make your story interesting or unique. It makes it harmful. It contributes to society’s perception of us as dangerous, crazy or even nonexistent. It is what makes people stare at us with disbelief or shy away when a system tells them they are plural. It is what makes us afraid to come out, because of the sheer amounts of psychophobia in our culture and the emphasis on mental health and the schism between the neurotypical and neuroatypical. It is what gets us locked up, forced into treatment or integration in attempts to “cure” us of our “afflictions”. It is what makes my heart race as I type this.
If you want a plot device, come up with an actual, creative idea of your own. Stop recycling the same overused garbage. It doesn’t make you unique, edgy or artistic. It makes you cliché and an inconsiderate, ableist and psychophobic douchebag.
1. My use of the terms I, me and my throughout this post and all others addressing me are used in a plural sense, encompassing all of us as one unit to better communicate with others. It is used for when all of us are addressing a given audience and is not in reference to the host of the system. I apologize for any confusion this may cause, linguistic or otherwise.
2. The use of the term alters throughout this post is in effort to remain consistent with the clinical understanding of DID. None of us identify with this term and do not use it for any DID system that does not personally identify with it.
A friend of ours shared this with us, and I’m very grateful that she did. A lot of these points are things that we struggle with on a daily basis because there’s this constant wonder of why we don’t conform to ‘x’ or ‘y’ and the constant correction of things that people come up with based on assumptions and lack of knowledge. I’m glad to be able to correct some of these things, but it gets draining. It’s comforting in the sense of concrete confirmation that the stereotypes don’t exist for everyone else with DID/MPD.
I hear ya on the draining part. This post was pretty draining in itself, it left me tired and dissociated for the rest of the day. The stereotypes piss me off even more because I’ve met so many plural systems, DID or not, that they don’t apply to. The ignorance is so frustrating when they’ve never met even one system that doesn’t align to their personal viewpoint.
This was a very informative read. Thank you very much for spending the spoons to bring it to your readers.
What struck a chord with me was your explanation of how the different personalities/alters are really coping mechanisms. See, I have an ASD. Mine is at a functioning-level that got me classified as Asperger. And one of the things that help me get through the day is my ability to put on different ‘hats’, ie. personas. In fact, what truly helped me make some truly useful ‘hats’ to put on, is all the role-playing I’ve been doing. I developed a hat I put on for school, one for family gatherings, one for role-playing (believe it or not), one for teaching, etc etc.
Not too long ago, I met a bloke, who succintly stated that when people have OCD we try to rid them of it. When people have autism, we try to give them OCD to help them function.
And I think you’ve just showed me yet another parallel. If people have DID and thus one or more alters, it is considered an illness. But when people like me with autism have issues with certain situations, we are coached to create a persona for that situation in order to cope with it despite the autism.
At least, If I understood your explanation right, then I see a parallel. If not I’ll have to have another go, and read better next time.
It’s a different understanding than I expected, but it’s also a good one. Both of those points are good parallels. And they are good survival techniques, aren’t they? The interesting thing, one that many aren’t aware of, is that dissociation is a very common coping method even for neurotypical people – it’s just not as noticeable for them because they don’t experience it in the extreme levels that folks with DID or other dissociative disorders do. All it shows is that we simply take it one step further than most people that use dissociation (whether they’re aware of it or not), because in extreme situations, we have to.
And you’re welcome – it’s something I figured had needed to be said for quite some time. How DID and other forms of plurality is represented in mainstream media is one of the things that really, really ticks me off. And it’s one of the ones that doesn’t often get addressed. I figured it was about time it happened.
They are very good survival techniques. My colleague in teaching role-playing once had a student, who had major problems with exam nerves. He just couldn’t face any exam at all without being a nervous wreck. That’s pretty bad. His mother came to my friend and asked if it was possible to make a role-play to help him through exams. Of course it was. My friend sat the student down and together they made a character sheet with stats and numbers and all, and the kid would play this character when taking exams in the future. Result: Straight A’s. He’s now studying nano-tech or something else really advanced. As far as I know he’s officially neurotypical, but considering how distracted he is, I have my doubts :-P
And yep, dissociation happens all the time, on several different levels. We see it simplistically everytime someone says “Whoah, don’t look at me!” as if they really couldn’t have made a difference, when in fact they could. It’s a way to dissociate oneself from guilt. “But the others do it too!” Ditto. And wow, do we see it all the fucking time.
Yeah, sorry. I’m ranting. I had exactly one of those mornings one hopes to not have. *grumble*
But you’re right. The only true diff is the extremity to which the dissociation goes.
I found your blog via this article on bitchmagazine.org. I love what you have to say here about USOT and the misconceptions and downright falsehoods perpetuated by USOT and shows and movies like it. But even more importantly, I love that you’re saying it at all.
It has taken me five years and monumental courage to get to a place where I am fed up enough with the public perception of DID that it’s worth it to make myself a target by coming out and speaking about my experience with, and thoughts and opinions about, DID. I wholeheartedly believe that there is only one way to humanize and demystify DID; and that’s for some of us to be willing to take the heat of criticism, judgment and perhaps even ridicule that will invariably come our way if we speak up. I don’t know what on earth has possessed me to volunteer, perhaps naivete. Whatever it is, I decided to speak up. And finding people like you out here doing the same thing makes me feel less alone and less afraid.
Thank you.
You’re very welcome. It always helps to know that we’re not alone out there, especially if we decide to go public about our struggles. Like you, it took me a long time to finally come forward about it and talk about it on a more direct and public basis. And while I worry about it sometimes, comments like yours make me feel better about putting myself out there. It makes me feel like maybe I’m doing some good after all.
You’re right in one of your posts – DID is a very lonely experience. But none of us are alone. Most of us are just hiding ;)
The article I mentioned (forgot the link): http://bitchmagazine.org/post/televism-ableism-appropriation-and-united-states-of-tara#comment-39251
Thank you for this. My wife is part of a multiple system. Due to other issues, we don’t often have the spoons to educate on this, and I’m so glad to see others teaspooning against the tide of ignorance.
One day we’ll maybe save up enough spoons to write about a gimpy PTSD more-or-less singlet dissociative and a DID multiple in a relationship and dealing with the world.
You’re welcome! Yeah it took a lot for me to finally pull together the courage and extra spoons to come forward about this. I’d love to read about your family’s experiences, they sound like something that I could relate to. If at any point in the future y’all pull something together, let me know – I’d be excited to check it out!
i’m plural and have been out since the mid 90s; i think it’s important for people to see plurality as a variation, not a disorder.
i like a lot of this. i agree with the plot device issues. and i’ve had drs insist that one can’t be happy and plural; that being plural is *by definition* a mental illness. goobers.
“The thing about DID is that it is developed through a survival tactic.” i’m not clear what you mean by that, whether you are saying the plurality is a survival tactic, or the state of being disordered is a survival tactic.
i disagree with the first. i know people who are plural and always knew it. some had trauma in their lives, others didn’t. some realised later they were different; again, some with trauma and some without. and i have friends who absolutely do connect different members of their system to specific incidents in their life.
i had trauma, but it didn’t cause us to be more than one; we already were.
“This is not an affliction – this is a tool, a coping method, used by many to survive.” i agree it’s not an affliction, but it’s not a tool or a coping method for everyone, either. for some it’s just the way we *are*, like some bodies have green eyes vs brown, etc.
~rainbow
I’m aware of the existence of plurality that is not a result of DID. These are not what I am addressing. I am addressing the portrayal of plurality as a disorder, from the perspective of plurality as a disorder and why the portrayals are inaccurate.
DID develops through the extension of dissociation, which is a common survival tactic in many people, not just those with dissociative disorders. It’s what cause people to feel out of their skins or outside of the situation when they’re in situations like car crashes or rape. It’s just that with DID, it takes it a step further.
Just because it’s not a disorder for many plural systems does not mean that it’s not a disorder for others. For us, it is. It’s not a bad thing, because yes it is a part of who we are and we work with it as best we can. But it is still a disorder. Please do not erase that experience and identity.
thank you very much for the clarification; your specific meanings weren’t clear to me as i’m used to did and mpd being used by the pdocs for everyone plural. i appreciate your explanation of your more specific meaning.
my own frustration with portrayals specifically includes that it’s always disordered; i’ve never seen a tv show or movie showing healthy plurality :/
and yes, i’m well aware that there are plural systems that are disordered, as well.
i’d not erase any system’s experiences; there’s far too much variety, as you mentioned. i just want all the variations of plurality recognised, including my own.